We’ve spent our entire lives gaining experience about what happens in a range of situations.
We’ve been through success and failure, built and ended relationships, invested time and energy on our careers, and competed to reach our goals. We know what we like, what we dislike, and where we see the nuances in life.
All this experience means we can shortcut decisions – we know what happened the last time and that informs our decision next time. We feel safer repeating behaviour where we know the outcome – even if the outcome isn’t really what we really want…
So we end up mostly running on autopilot, our mind automatically launching us into certain habits, behaviours, feelings and emotions, based on what we’ve done in the past.
It becomes part of us, and how we show up every day. We think the same thoughts, feel the same way, and it becomes our default state of being.
Doing something different can feel scary. Our subconscious mind will be screaming at us to take the path of most certainty. Do the same old thing, feel the same old way. Repeat the patterns. Do what we already know.
People talk about leaning on your intuition and gut feelings, but if your subconscious mind is trying to keep you safe by repeating the same patterns, then it’s going to object to the idea of making a different choice. That might look like a fear response, procrastination, or just a bad feeling.
These body feelings are subtle but SO powerful and they affect our decisions at a deep subconscious level. You’ll be making (or not making) decisions almost instantly, and without any logical processing.
This is where tools like hypnotherapy and meditation come in. They are great ways to calm your mind and body, and allow you to recognise the patterns that are keeping you from doing what you want to do.
So when you want to make a different choice, how do you do it without feeling like you’re just putting your head down and pushing through?
- Firstly, ground yourself. Do whatever you need to do to feel centred and calm. If you don’t currently have a self-hypnosis or meditation practice, then you could move, breathe, listen, notice…
- Then acknowledge the mental chatter and where you are feeling the resistance in your mind and body. Show yourself some self-compassion – this is simply your brain trying to keep you safe.
- Next get curious – where are you feeling the need to walk the same path? What other options do you have? Take a reporter’s view and be as factual as possible.
- Which other options feel exciting? Where can you lean into your edges and make a different choice instead? How does that feel different?
- How can you take a step towards that different choice instead? How will you look after yourself as you forge a new path?
If you’d like some help to make changes to live the life you desire, get in touch and we can arrange your free introductory call.
